“The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.”
I have suspected for some time that I am lied to on some level on most days I come to work. Usually it's a gut feeling or just the knowledge that white lies are common among teens. Yesterday I confronted a student who continues to lie despite the fact that I had earlier seen him do something with my own eyes, ultimately sending my into an quasi-yell of "You're lying!" Also when discussing during a warm-up activity when it is okay to lie, the number of students who think it's okay to lie sometimes seems to increase every year. This semester I even had several who said it was okay to lie anytime you wanted, as long as it benefited you. The fact they relate this to me, a person who they should want to trust their word on things like assignments, made me stop and wonder exactly how bad things were getting. (You don't even want to know all the ways they try to cheat on things - picture me ripping up papers in front of the whole class as a punishment)
So the Josephson Institutes latest numbers on teen dishonesty (stealing, lying, and cheating) did not surprise me. Over 1/3 of boys and 1/4 of girls had stolen from a store in the last year, and students from private and religious schools didn't behave too much better than their public school counterparts. More than 8 in 10 students admitted lying to a parent about something significant, and 64% admitted to cheating on a test during the past year. Geographically speaking, students in the southeast had the highest level of cheating. They said that 1 in 3 have plagirized from the internet, but I would wager that it's higher and some of the others didn't realize they were plagiarizing. The somewhat humorous part? 26% admitted to lying on at least 1 or 2 questions on the survey. (According to the siteexperts agree that dishonesty on surveys usually is an attempt to conceal misconduct.)
The study also found that "despite these high levels of dishonesty, the respondents have a high self-image when it comes to ethics. A whopping 93 percent said they were satisfied with their personal ethics and character and 77 percent said that when it comes to doing what is right, I am better than most people I know."
What does this say about our society, and what further onus does it place on me as a teacher and a mother? I don't think we can just assume that this is because of lack of brain development in teens as I see the same patterns emerging among adults. The question is, can the tide be turned?
Case 1 - While watching the news this morning:
Caitlyn: That weatherman has a gween tree!
Me: Oh, do you think they're saying Merry Christmas?
Caitlyn: No, there's no baby Jeez-us
Case 2 - Speaking with a coworker yesterday I mentioned that during the
Harrisburg Christmas tree lighting on Friday one of the wise men took Caitlyn
to the manger to see the baby Jesus and knelt down beside her, talking to her
about the baby Jesus (adorable). She responded that she didn't know you could
have manger scenes in public places. A discussion about religious freedom
ensued, with her on the side of "never the twain shall meet" and me
on the side of within reason and without maliciousness individual groups and
people should be able to display religious things. She opined that if she went
to a Christmas tree lighting and saw a manger scene it would ruin the feeling
and the whole reason she was there. Interesting.
Which made me pause upon reading the following forward from my mom:
Letter from Jesus about Christmas --
It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.
How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.
Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.
If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:
1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.
2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.
3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then followup... It will be nice hearing from you again.
4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.
5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.
6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.
7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families
8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.
9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will
they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.
10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.
Have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :
JESUS
So now I'm looking for a manger scene for our yard and can't seem to find one,
although Santas, reindeer, snowmen, and trees seem readily available. That
indicates something about secular vs. religious holiday decorating and also
makes me wonder where one can purchase non cheesy manger scenes. Any ideas?
Friends, today I heard from the PET scan I had last Thursday. I am happy to say that the results are good! Of chief concern was the tumor in the lower lobe of the right lung and the lymph nodes in the center of my chest. The scan showed that there was NO cancer activity in the lymph nodes. There will always be scar tissue left where the tumor was but if there is cancer activity there, it is too little to definitively register. As a precaution I will have two more rounds of chemo, after which we will reevaluate. My original diagnosis was made due to there being fluid in my chest which, when drawn, was shown to contain cancer cells. There is some fluid there now and I will have it drained Thursday. We have reason to hope that the fluid will not contain cancer cells and that it is simply the result of the treatment itself. That is certainly our prayer.
Other than the additional chemo treatments our plans will be to wait and watch. Lung cancer cells, once having escaped the lung itself tend to float around the body forever so the possibility that a cell could "set up shop" somewhere will always be a possibility. If so, we pray that we will find it quickly and that my body will once again respond in the extremely positive way in which it did this time. I appreciate every prayer and every bit of encouragement. Though the war is not over it is wonderful to have seemingly won the first battle! To God Be the Glory!
Caitlyn sometimes gets her little pink Bible and teaches or sings to her baby dolls about the Lo-ard or Jeesus - it's hilarious. Today I had my Christmas cantata music on when I picked her up from school.
Caitlyn: Is this song about the Lo-ard? Me: Yep. Caitlyn: Do we learn about the Lo-ard at chuch? Me: Yes; do you learn about the Lord at school? Caitlyn: Yeah! Me: Do you learn about the Lord at home? Caitlyn: Uh-uh.
(We're such good Christian parents.) No wonder I'm insisting on Christian private school.
The weekend before Halloween I was determined to take Caitlyn to a pumpkin patch. We'd been talking about it for weeks, so even though it was dreary we met her friend there for some pumpkin pickin'. Of course that late in the season the pumpkins had probably been shipped from Arizona or something, but let's just make believe - okay? We bought a pumpkin for Caitlyn, one for my niece and nephew, and one each for the two girls we brought with us. We fully intended to carve them that night, but a long trip to a full size tabernacle put a kink in those plans. I ended up sending the other kids home with their pumpkins.
Then of course we never carved ours, so yesterday I took the kids outside so the pumpkin wouldn't go to waste. Caitlyn took one touch of the pumpkin guts and promptly went back inside to watch Nick Jr. Undaunted I pressed onward, removing the seeds for Jamie to roast and turning the pumpkin into a jack-o-lantern we could keep on the porch post-Halloween - until the end of November or when it rots totally.
I meant to post this before Halloween because it would be such a great literal trick or treat. But maybe now you can get some and set them out at the Thanksgiving table or grab some for a stocking stuffer. Jelly Belly has come out with a great line of jelly beans that you can even order in a customizable tin. The catch? The yummy flavors are identical to the disgusting ones. You don't know if it will be pleasant or disgusting until you bite in (except the licorice/skunk spray ones - that's a lose-lose situation). It reminds me of Bertie Botts every flavor bean or maybe russian roulette - jelly bean style. Caitlyn calls them jelly balls; do you think I should put some in her candy jar? Check it out!
This one is too good to not post in it's entirity for anyone not on my Dad's caringbridge list:
This past week has been a blessing in many ways. I am very thankful for all the prayers that have been offered up on our behalf as I give God the glory for all that has happened.
First, I was able to go to the NC Baptist Singers rehearsal and concert in Kannapolis. It was a joy to see so many of my friends but an even greater blessing to be able to sing God’s praises with the group. I sang all afternoon and then throughout the 1 ½ hour concert. Just a few weeks ago I would have been unable to sing nearly that long. As an extra bonus Marsha and I were able to spend time with our daughter Carol, son-in-law Jamie and grandchildren Caitlyn and Elijah who live near there!
Second, Wednesday I had my last radiation treatment! I will not know completely how successful the treatments have been until I have my PET scan in November but x-rays indicate a significant positive change. Cancer cells should continue to die over the next few weeks even though the treatment is over. The radiation oncologist was very pleased with what seems to have been accomplished and with the way I have handled the treatments.
I left that treatment to go to my pulmonary doctor. Since my diagnosis I have had 12 liters of fluid withdrawn from my chest (that’s the equivalent of 6 2 liter soft drink bottles!). The pulmonologist was ready to say that I would have to have a pleurodesis procedure to scar my lung and chest wall then insert talc to make the two grow together. This is a painful procedure to recover from and people often have pain breathing for the rest of their lives. I had an x-ray that afternoon which was my last chance to convince them that I had improved and the procedure was no longer necessary. Miraculously, the x-ray showed that I had collected ZERO FLUID! It was a shock to them but I saw it as a wonderful answer to prayer. The lack of fluid is also an indication that the chemo and radiation have had a tremendous positive impact.
I take a vacation from all treatments now as I await the PET scan in November.Decisions will be made then about further, if any, treatments. Medically speaking there will likely be more chemo treatments then. If this is necessary I pray my oncologist will make the correct decisions on what to use. If no treatments are needed I will certainly give God the glory but if they are needed I will give Him thanks that they are available.
Thanks everyone for all the prayers and encouragement. It has made all the difference in the world.
Elijah still doesn't sleep well most nights, so I feel like a character in Zombieland (and not one of the good guys). Somehow I manage to make enough sense in class to get by. I was able to make a trip with the kids up to my parents' house while I was still on maternity leave. It was a nice break even though I wish I could have gone at a less busy time for them. There as here, Caitlyn seemed to alternate between wanting to be a big girl like Kylie and a baby like Elijah. It rained basically the entire time, and of course I forgot our rain jackets. I let Caitlyn and Kylie play outside anyway, and Caitlyn taught herself to ride Kylie's scooter!
I tried to get a nice picture of them before church on Sunday, but as you can see the mesmerizing t.v. was on.
Since Jamie would be primarily responsible for getting Caitlyn ready for school and we were having trouble getting her to get ready for bed and stay there, I developed a chart with clipart to show the things she needed to do to get ready for bed and school. When she completes the tasks without incident she gets a check. Five checks = a movie with mom, a trip to the playground, dinner out, or a game night. It's working really well. The last step at night is picking out her clothes for the morning. Jamie came to me one night asking, "She can wear anything she wants?" I wasn't that worried about because all her clothes are basically in the same color group or at least complimentary color groups, but I had to suppress a laugh when I saw the clothes the next morning. I contemplated convincing her to pick other bottoms until she said, "My friends will love this skirt! This skirt is faaaancy! This skirt is magic!" I guess we're safe until Nick Jr. starts looking for contestants for "What Not to Wear - toddler edition." She's cute enough to pull off her own sense of fashion. (I picked out the stylish clothes for Elijah.)
The very first day of daycare Elijah came home with pinkeye - which apparently doesn't only come from touching your eye after not washing your hands after touching someone's hand who also didn't wash his hands after touching his own pink eye. (They lie in elementary school.) Jamie had to take the next day off to take him to the doctor. I earned a sick day when October started, so I took my third day of teaching off. We also had to put medicine in his eye the thickness of Neosporin - no easy task.
Although Elijah is sometimes peaceful, he often needs encouragement from us to sleep or even relax. Big sister is usually there to lend a hand.
I posted this yesterday, but somehow it didn't stay up! There are updates to my Dad's caringbridge page if you haven't signed up for updates. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/edoakley
This was his article in the church newsletter:
GRADUATION! You see I had my article this week all planned out. Monday was to be my last day of radiation. And I was looking forward to an opportunity to thank everyone possible for all that they had done for Marsha and me. Then I was told that since I had tolerated the procedure so well I had won a bonus of 6 more visits that would be more powerful and more focused.
I suppose I should be thankful (and I am) but I have so much to be thankful for that I could not wait one more week. The prayers, the cards, the smiles, firm handshakes, claps on the back, teary eyes, food, acts of kindness and service have been overwhelming. Churches and pastors from miles away, that I have never heard of, have even written or called to say they are praying. It is overwhelming. I cannot begin to name individuals who have done so much to make this time easier for us. Still, I could not wait one more week to say how thankful I am for each prayer and deed.
The battle is far from over. In a little over a month I will have a PET scan to see where things stand. After that, the chemo battle will resume, likely for some time. Still, this first leg of the journey has been made so much easier than I ex-pected it to be. God's response to people's prayers have made all he difference. SO thank you and keep praying! Soli Deo Gloria, Ed
On a totally different note you have to check out this video if you haven't seen it and you need a laugh! It's also on my facebook page.
I usually focus more on the history side of my class than the literary side because I find history more interesting, and most of my sudents groan when I hand them poetry. But this little jewel from my current unit is particularly apropos to my life:
Carmen Bernos de Gasztold
Noah's Prayer
translated from the French by Rumer Godden
Lord, what a menagerie! Between Your downpour and these animal cries one cannot hear oneself think! The days are long, Lord. All this water makes my heart sink. When will the ground cease to rock under my feet? The days are long. Master Raven has not come back. Here is Your dove. Will she find us a twig of hope? The days are long, Lord. Guide Your Ark to safety, some zenith of rest, where we can escape at last from this brute slavery. The days are long, Lord. Lead me until I reach the shore of Your covenant.
Amen.
I'd like to retitle it "God, could you hook a sista' up with a pair of waders?"
Seriously though my life is good, and I'm actually in a great mood! If you aren't on facebook and want to see pictures of "growing Elijah" click here and click here to see other pics of him.
